Progress in Other Areas...Road to Minimalism

A few months ago, I asked a friend at work what he and his wife were doing to be so purposeful with their family and lives.  He told me about something called Minimalism.  I had no clue what that idea was, but I wanted to know more.  Nat, my friend, emailed me a link to a website.  That email just hung out in my inbox for quite a while.  It stared me in the face a few times, daring me to open it.  I kept telling myself I would, but not right that moment because I was really busy with end of school year work.  So, I put it off and put it off.

I don't remember the day or why I decided to open the email and click on the link: http://www.theminimalists.com/.  I'd had a nagging feeling inside for a while:  always feeling stressed out, always feeling like there is more to do, or wanting to do but can't because of other responsibilities.   Whatever the real reason that caused me go one step further that day, that small, inconspicuous link changed so much.

As I started reading, I couldn't stop.  I was in awe at what these two men had done for themselves, and I wanted to feel that FREEDOM too!  What is it?  In a nutshell... living more with less!

Sometime in the midst of my stressing out but before I read through the website, my husband had suggested we try to sell our house because the housing market had turned, and we had an opportunity .  Initially, I thought "NO WAY! I LOVE THIS HOUSE!  IT'S MY DREAM HOUSE!"  Yes... shouty caps.  I really do LOVE my house.  When we bought it, I thought we would never move until we retire.  We had the dream:  2,600 sq ft, 4 bedrooms, 2 dining rooms, game room, library, HUGE walk in closet.  Why in the world would I want to give THAT up?  I didn't really see the opportunity in front of me in that moment.

After reading about Josh and Ryan's journey to Minimalism and the reasons behind it, I understood.  We have been as caught up in consumerism as just about everyone else in America.  We have a huge house, two new cars, jobs that pay somewhat well (heehee...within reason - being a teacher, well...that's a topic for another blog), but things were still missing.  We want to travel more.  I want to spend more time impacting the world around me, but I'm stressed out and exhausted all the time.  I want to be healthier and spend more time outdoors.  I want to go skiing.  I want to zip line in Costa Rica.  I want to go diving in the Caymans again.  I want to go on a Mountain vacation for Christmas.  I want to write more.  I want to work with a charity that I'm passionate about...etc, etc.... the list could go on....Yes.  I know.  I want a lot of things.

I realized I can't do many of those things with the lifestyle we have, and I wanted to change it.  I sent my husband the link to check out.  I'm not sure how much he read, but he was on board with my crazy idea.  

Our first steps were to talk with our realtor and put our house on the market.  It officially went on the market this past Monday!  We then started selling things we didn't need.  Man do we have a lot stuff we don't need!  The more I found in the house to sell, the more disappointed I became with myself about what I THOUGHT I needed and spent money on over all these years.  I thought it might be difficult to let go, but reality is the thought of being debt free is more exciting than the items I've collected that I don't use or forgot I even have. 

Could all of this stress play into our struggles with having a family? Sure.  Will the feeling of freedom change that?  I don't know.  I do know it will change our lives, change our thought process, and change how we are able to impact the world around us.  

So thank you Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus.  Thank you for sharing your story.  Thank you for leading the way so others can be brave enough to follow!  You are both positively impacting the lives of many.

Thank you Nat Giambalvo for sharing the link and your family's journey toward minimalism.

Hear them Josh and Ryan speak about minimalism-TedTalk:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgBpyNsS-jU&list=LLkbFiBwMYMXAqifXF4xo5Uw

An Update & More to Our Journey...

I haven't posted about our baby journey since my surgery for endo at the end of March.  We are now in month three of our six month window to conceive naturally and still have hope that this process will work without further need for medical intervention.  Now... here goes the difficult balancing act that happens behind the scenes that I know many have gone through and are currently going through, but sometimes find difficult to discuss.  I certainly went through a massive, spiritual and emotional change in order to be able to talk about this journey.  I am very much a private person when it comes to highly emotional parts of my life.  This process is extremely taxing emotionally.  There are days where I am full of hope, but that hope comes with turmoil each month pregnancy doesn't happen.  Because of the emotions, some days I want to just assume this won't work so I can plan for the next step.  It's easier to make a plan the have hope sometimes.  I don't do well with... you know... feelings... I don't like dealing with extreme feelings, and this has been a good lesson from God on how to do that.

HOWEVER... I have found such comfort from those sharing their journey with me over the years, that I now understand the importance of exploring all that is part of pregnancy difficulties publicly.  I want to thank every person who opened up to me and/or Chris about their own struggles with various types of pregnancy and adoption.  Without all of you, I would not have been able to accept my own emotions and struggles on this path to parenthood.  I wrote in my last blog about Dr. Seeker being placed in my life for a purpose.  The women that have surrounded me over the last few years have been strategically placed by God in my path and Chris' path to help us through every part of our baby journey, and I cannot be more thankful for their willingness to help us and share extremely difficult times in their own lives.

There is one person I will mention by name because I know she won't mind.  Vicki Bachtel Stephenson has been my friend for almost six years now.  Even though we have not always lived close by, she and her husband Josh have always cared for us and reached out to us.  We have gone through difficult times together and been there for each other.  I wish we could have helped each other more over the last couple of years...

Vicki and Josh's struggle with pregnancy and then through adoption have been an inspiration to me every day.  She doesn't even know how much so.  I didn't even tell her that until yesterday.  When someone asks me how things are going with baby making and then gives me those sad eyes because they are sympathizing with our journey, I can always tell them it's ok because I have hope and God has a plan.  I can say that because of Vicki and Josh.  They have been living proof to me that it all will work out exactly the way God intends it to be without a doubt.

That's not to say I can't be an emotional yo-yo, because I can!  But my belief in God and the living proof around me that is hope allows me to recover from my emotional poor me attitude much more quickly than I could without it.

Right now, I am in the "It's only month three and we have plenty of time" phase while still contemplating next steps if we need to take them.  That's the fault of my "we must have a plan" part of me.  I can't seem to shake that part of my personality.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with my need to control everything.  : 0

Yes... I do realize this journey is in part God's way of telling me to let go because He is in control... NOT ME!  Wow!  That's a tough lesson to learn, but I'm getting there.

Now on to a little medical talk....

The surgery really did help with a lot of things.  Endo can and does prevent an egg from being fertilized.  We do know that I am ovulating and producing eggs, and Chris is good to go.  So really the surgery should allow the egg to be fertilized and for us to conceive naturally.  I'm sure stress has not helped that with the end of school, but I do believe this time in our six month window is the best time!  I'm relaxed and everything else medically speaking is working properly.

That being said, prayers are much welcomed for the next few months will determine whether we need additional medical support.  If that's the case, tough decisions will have to be made monetarily as to what next steps we are able to make.  Hopefully it won't come to that, but we are preparing for it anyways... gotta have a plan man!!

Thanks for listening to my ramblings!  We will keep you all updated as we go!

April & Chris

More Hope!

We continue our journey to parenthood...

Since my last post, and as many of you know, I underwent a procedure to help us in our fertility process.  I had endometriosis removed and my tubes checked.  Today was our follow up appointment, and more good news!  Hope this isn't too much info!  : ) BUT we are excited about it!

Dr. Seeker removed over 80 spots of endo, scar tissue created by the endo, and a tubular cyst.  My tubes and uterus look great!  My recovery has gone as planned, and I am cleared to go back to normal activities!

Because of the "fertility enhancement" procedure as Dr. Seeker called it, we have about a six month window to conceive naturally.  Dr. Seeker is really hoping, as are we, for a pregnancy in the next three months.  We have other options after that, but for now we are calling on our prayer warriors again as we try to conceive naturally and start our family.

God has placed Dr. Seeker in our lives for a purpose, and he has done everything he can to help us on our journey thus far.  We are so blessed to have him as our doctor throughout this process.  As we move forward, we also keep in mind that all is in God's time and his plan.  So as we call on prayers, we simply ask for God's will and the ability to accept all he has in store for us with open hearts.

Thank everyone for all their support!  We couldn't do it without y'all.

April & Chris

I'm Back! Let's Get this Party Started! - Infertility Consult

I started this blog just over a year ago.  I made ONE post last year.  Wow!  Ok... I'm back.

I guess the one post in a one year really represents where our journey to have a baby has been... stuck.  Today was a big day toward becoming, well, unstuck.

Chris and I met with Dr. Seeker today for our first ever infertility consult.  The word infertility actually can mean so many things it gets confusing.  It gets even more confusing since we were able to conceive just over two years ago, but one conception in four years... it sort of places us back in the big question mark area of infertility.

For those of you who know me, I am an ACTION PLAN person.  If there is a problem, you assess, determine a solution, implement said plan to reach the solution, done.  I CAN'T STAND a no plan Sam (ie my last OB/GYN).  Over the last two years as we have tried to conceive since our miscarriage, all I heard from my previous doctor was "it will happen."  And all I wanted to do was scream at him while shaking him "WE CLEARLY HAVE A PROBLEM!"  I refrained.  (be proud of me!)  I simply found my way back to Dr. Seeker.

We accomplished more in a 20 minute appointment with Dr. Seeker than we have in the last two years.  We have a CLEAR PLAN! And that plan has TWO action steps already in place!  WHAT! WHAT!  Now THAT is my kind of doctor.  Problem - Plan - Go!

This week, we will complete said step one in the action plan.  Dependent upon results of step one, we will complete step two in the next couple of weeks.

Now I know what you are thinking.  It's just a plan, but regardless of the outcome of the plan, we are now in motion toward answers, and that is a really big step for us.  I have always known God has a plan for us.  He led us back to Dr. Seeker.  Now we have a Christian doctor helping us the rest of the way here on earth.

Big Sigh.

God is Good.  2014 is looking pretty good to me.

Day 1... hmmm... Can I do this?

I like to think of myself as a private person.  I live in one persona in my personal life and only share short moments where all of me can be alive for everyone to see.  At the ripe old age of 29 (or rather the 5th anniversary year of my 29th birthday), it has become cumbersome to say the least.

All that holding myself back...for what?

Is it because I care about what people think?  Well, if you know me, you know that certainly isn't the case...or is it?...deep down.

Is it because I want to be a different person than I was 10, 15, 20 years ago?  Well, I AM different than I was all those years ago.  Aren't we all!?!

I'm sure it is a combination of things: past, present, dreams for the future.  This year, I have decided to just simply be me.  Embrace all that I have been, all that I am, and all that I hope to become all rolled up into one messy package rather than segmenting myself and deciding who gets to enjoy or not enjoy (smirk) each side of me. I guess you could call is a resolution of sorts.

So here is to beginning a journey to live with an open heart and simply being happy to be me, sharing myself with others, and seeing who I can drag along with me.

Enjoy!

P.S. - Sarah,
I have you to thank for my inspiration in starting this blog.  You don't even know how much you have affected me in so many wonderful ways.  Thank You!